A Discovery of Witches
Deborah Harkness
Originally Reviewed – April 4th, 2011
Oh, that witch Diana Bishop with her crazy hair and no-nonsense alchemy degrees, is there nothing she can’t do? Let’s see…nope, she can do everything, which for some reason keeps surprising her PG-13 lover, a vampire named Matthew Clairmont. And, wait, is there nothing that genius blood vampire guy, with 8,675 accolades from every important university can’t do? Ah, nope, he’s good at everything, too!
Wow. Interesting.
You’re wonderful, no you’re wonderful. No, you’re really wonderful, no you’re really wonderful. More than once I had to fight the urge to skim their devoted wonderfulness and astonishment that they shouldn’t be astonished at how wonderful the other one is. I guess that’s some kind of love? For narcissistic nutjobs, maybe.
Where to start…Diana would know where to start. Then Matty would marvel at the genius of her starting point.
Diana Bishop is a witch who doesn’t want to be a witch – not that she wouldn’t be like the totally best witch EVER – because she’s a scholar. Never shall the two meet…or will they? In the process of researching historical alchemy hoochiyhoo, Diana has old books pulled for her so she can brilliantly analyze them. One fateful night she has Ashmole 782 recalled, and kablowey – every witch, daemon, and vampire stare at her like, well, like she’s interesting. They will be disappointed. Well, to be fair, she is interesting until she and Matty become inseparable – then she loses her brain, and it’d be really really nice if someone would find it for her since there’ll be at least two more of these coming out.
Matty Cocopants pursues Diana to get the book, and since he’s like a chiseled god she’s all, what the hell, and is game. He’s a vampire with a lot of degrees and bickety-boo to impress everyone – to sum up, he’s a beautiful, brilliant, dark-haired vampire who likes whining, pretending to act authoritative, and inappropriate kissing in libraries. He will get that book, oh yes, wait, what’s this, a bottle of wine? Let’s see how long I can let Matty describe it for me.
As Diana becomes a hot commodity, no, you’re a hot commodity, no, sillypants, you’re a hot commodity!, her power begins to spill out her like that can of coke you dropped then forgot about and opened half-asleep in the middle of the night when you were too lazy to pour a glass of water. Will she survive another twenty-page conversation of what she’d smell like if she were a bottle of wine? Probably, two more coming.
I am being a shade, just a shade, too harsh. The book is fun and quick to read, mostly - enough about your fabulousness and the wine, it made my eyes bleed. Diana is a scholar, yes, the bravest and most powerful witch/scholar ever, but it’s nice to have a smart heroine. A world with supernatural creatures adds life, though the stereotyping does get a little old. Beautiful, rich, brooding vamps, sewing-circle bitchy witches, blah blah. The daemons are a nice variation, but they don’t get much love. I started re-reading this one to be a bit more fair, and did enjoy the beginning a lot – until it hit dopey love suck. Which is why I’m being so pissy. Good stuff turned kind of sour because the author wants this to be great love and seems to not know how to show us. The only way she can express how the hero and heroine feel is to have them tell each other again, and again, and again. She makes Twilight love look like The Age of Innocence. And trust me, it pained me to write that last sentence.
I did read it fast, and it kept me reading, despite the gooey love and fifty-page discussion about what I’d eat if I were a wolf. Children in red capes, answered, move on. Hopefully she’s gotten this goo out of her system, because I will read the next two. Keep going with the nice touches, like the snowflake glances and kickass house.
I recommend this one to my sister, I’m sure she’ll love it. No offense, Andi.
*Note, I’m still trying to figure out comparing Twilight to The Age of Innocence. I re-read that sentence 3 times. I think I might re-visit this one for a refresher. Seriously, I must have really hated the love story, Twilight is like hot chocolate made out of tofu, like why? Breaking Dawn does make me laugh and laugh and laugh, love bubble.
